Fighting For You
by BubbleLove1234
Summary: James and Lily have always had a hard time getting along. It was just a natural fact that every Hogwarts student knew. But what happens when James Potter finally grows up, gets a hot bod, and doesn't irritate Lily every five seconds? Rated T!
1. First Year

**Fighting For You**

**By BubbleLove1234**

**Chapter 1**

* * *

To my favorite teacher  
told me never give up  
To my fifth grade crush  
Who I thought I really loved  
To the guys I've missed and the girls we've kissed  
Where are you now

To my ex-best friends  
Don't know how we grew apart  
To my favorite band  
Sing along in my car  
To the face I see in my memory  
Where are you now

Where are you now?  
Cause I'm thinking of you  
You showed me how  
How to live like I do  
If it wasn't for you  
I would never be who I am

To my first girlfriend  
I thought for sure was the one  
To my last girlfriend  
Sorry that I screwed it up  
To the ones I loved  
Didn't show it enough  
Where are you now

Where are you now  
Cause I'm thinking of you  
You showed me how  
How to live like I do  
If it wasn't for you  
I would never be who I am

I know we'll never see those days again  
And things will never be that way again  
But that's just how it goes  
People change but I know  
I won't forget you

_Where Are You Now, Honor Society_

Lily P.O.V.

I walked around the platform anxiously. It was my first day at Hogwarts, at least hopefully it would if I could just find my train. I'd gotten here early because I was so excited and I still hadn't managed to find Platform Nine and three quarters. Just a couple of minutes ago I had asked someone where it was, and they just laughed at me and told me there was no such thing. But there _was._ I just had to find it before it left me.

This would have been easier to deal with if my parents hadn't dropped me off in the parking lot and left to take my sister Petunia to her piano lessons. They would have known where my train was. They knew everything – mostly. But they weren't here, so I was left to fend for myself. Was this really what I was in for for the next seven years?

I groaned angrily, turning in circles on the spot hoping there would something, like a huge sign that pointed me in the right direction, but there wasn't. Of course not. Did the universe hate me or-

"Oomph!" I grunted while falling backwards onto the stone floor.

"Damn it!" Someone else said a few feet away.

I looked up from my spot, rubbing my back, searching for whoever I had ran into. In less than a second I found them. It wasn't difficult, seeing as he was the only one sprawled out on the floor like yours truly.

"Oh my god, I am _so_, so sorry!" I hurried to apologize, quickly leaving my spot on the ground and running over the boy to help him up. "Are you okay?"

He nodded. "Yeah, are you?" I nodded too.

It was odd, standing there in front of him while he peered at me closely. In other words, I was self-conscience of myself. Did I have something in my teeth, or a pussy zit? I smiled nervously, taking a step back to put some room between us. But not even then did he stop. Well, he stopped peering at me, but he didn't stop looking at me. No, now he was staring at me with a dumb expression on his face, like he was standing in front of a all-you-can-eat buffet that only served candies and other junk food.

"Um, well, I guess I'll be going then…" I muttered, wanting to escape this weird boy's creepy gaze.

"Huh?" I heard him mumble while I turned away, then, "Oh! W-wait!"

"Yes…?" I said uncertainly, stopped on the spot while I stared into his hazel eyes. They were amazing. No other boy I had ever met had eyes these beautiful or extraordinary. They were hazel, no doubt about it, but there were light specks of blue sprinkled across them and a ring of dark green around his pupils. They drew you in, making it impossible to look away or pay attention to what their owner was saying.

"Are you…" he started, but then dropped to a whisper. "…a…witch…?"

I smiled, biting my lip to hold in my joy. This wasn't just some ordinary boy. He was magical – like me. "Yes," I breathed.

And he smiled too. In fact, his whole face lit up with the kind of joy you see on children's faces on Christmas morning. "So, you're going to Hogwarts too?" He didn't even try to hide his excitement.

"Yes!" I said, jumping up in down. I felt so lucky, so happy, so free being around this boy. He had a charm about him and it only reinforced my emotions. Was I just plain lucky to have found someone to help me find the train?

"YES!" He yelled even louder, drawing the attention of near bystanders. They gave us curious expressions but didn't waste time watching us. His cheeks flushed a light pink, and I laughed. It was like we'd known each other forever; we were so friendly with one another. Regaining his composure, he smiled happily again.

"Do you want to find the train? I've been standing here for ages but I've had no luck," I offered, grabbing hold of my cart again.

"Really? But it's so easy to find-" He broke off, then turned to me. "_Oh_, you're a muggle-born aren't you?"

"A-a what?" I said uncertainly.

"You don't have magical parents?" He restated.

"Oh, yes, I mean no, I don't have magical parents. Or is it yes, I don't? That's always troubled me before. Which is the proper answer? It drives me insane and confuses me _so-_"

"Okay!" he interrupted, holding my shoulders to slow me down. This move shocked me at first, but then I smiled. This wasn't a move of embarrassment _for_ me, this was a move to _reassure_ me. And it was working. "Well, that's cool. I have a weak spot for muggles, so don't worry if I question you about your world every once in a while."

"So we'll be hanging out more often?" I asked, my voice dripping with hope.

He nodded. "Well, if you would like to because I would. It's always easier to make friends at a school when you already have someone to hang out with. I mean, if you think about it, if you have a friend already by your side, the two of you can make friends together, get it? But then why would I be making more friends? Wouldn't you just be hanging out with that friend that you have? Well, I guess you would need more or else you would look-"

I laughed and brought a hand up to cover his mouth. "We both need to break this habit."

"Bwat whabbit?" he said, his mouth muffled against my hand.

I pulled my hand back, wiping it on my jeans. "This rambling we both tend to do. I think it will annoy some people and might hurt our chances of making friends – _together_. So, agree to work on it with me?"

"Of course, but I think it's kinda cute when you do it…" he mumbled.

"What?" I asked, not quite hearing what he mumbled.

"Nothing," he said, shaking his head and returning to his cart. "Let's go find the Hogwarts Express!"

I laughed and ran after him. He was running straight towards a wall though. Was he serious? He was going to knock himself out! "Watch out!" I called after him, but it was too late. He ran right into the wall and…disappeared?

No, that couldn't be right. I walked over to where I saw him disappear, and pat the wall. It was completely solid. He should be on the ground here, knocked out cold then. There was no way he could have just…disappeared like that. It wasn't possible. There are certain rules in this world that state clearly that solid objects can't go through solid objects.

So where the hell was he?!

I stood there for awhile, growing more anxious by the moment. Nine o'clock was nearing, and if I didn't hurry, I would miss the train. There was only way I knew how to get to the train, but it was very unlikely I would go through like…whatever his name was did.

But it was the only way I knew how. I had to at least _try_. What was the worst that could happen? Never mind, don't answer that.

Taking a deep breath, I grabbed my cart, walked a few yards back, and, taking another deep breath, I ran straight toward the wall. The wall I knew would end up killing me. The wall that could possibly hold a world I never knew existed until a few weeks ago. The wall that was so unpredictable, it was the only thing that kept me from stopping just as I neared the wall and…

…went through.

I was through. The boy wasn't gone either. He was here, where ever _here_ was. He was through the wall, I was through the wall, we were _in_ the wall. How crazy is that?

And he had waited for me, ignoring the fact that I might not have ever come and he would have lost his train ride to Hogwarts. It was sweet and stupid at the same time, but I was thankful for it.

"Thanks for waiting," I said, smiling and we walked toward the steaming and hissing of the train.

"What took you so long?" He asked after we found a compartment.

"Um, well, I was kind of hesitant about running into a wall, if you know what I mean," I said, rolling my eyes. "But after a while, I figured, what the heck? What's the worst that could possibly happen, other than receiving a concussion for acting so stupid?"

He laughed at this, and I examined him carefully now that I were definitely onboard the train. As surprising as it is, I only just noticed his eyeglasses. Before, when I was studying his eyes, I'd looked right them, but now that I saw them, it was like he wouldn't be complete without them. And his hair, it was so untidy, but it made him _him, _more original and different. Not like other boys who tried to have the right hair and jeans so girls wouldn't exclude them from whatever list they thought there was. His nose was a little crooked, but you barely noticed the flaw, which made it not even a flaw. It made his face even more flawless.

We both jumped when the compartment door opened, and two boys stumbled inside. My eyes widened in surprise, but neither of us denied them access. One was a bit tall, a bit unusual for boys my age, with dark hair that hung perfectly around his face, highlighting his mysterious gray eyes. It was obvious this one would be an eye candy for the girls when we were older. The other was shorter with dirty blonde hair that was disheveled but looked neat at the same time and fell just below the tips of his ears.

"Oh, hey there!" the tall one said enthusiastically while taking a seat across from me. "I'm Sirius Black, and you must be…?"

"Lily Evans," I said coolly, not warming up to this stranger quite yet.

"James Potter," the boy with glasses said, grinning widely. A pang of jealousy went through me, but I ignored it. So what if there were some new assets to the compartment? That doesn't mean me and James, right? wouldn't have time together later. He had said after all that it was easier to make friends when you had a friend with you, and that we would hang out more at Hogwarts.

"Well, hey there, Lily Evans and James Potter," Sirius said heartily. "And this here is Remus Lupin. We just met but I can tell we're going to be friends already, aren't we, buddy?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess?" the blonde one said. Obviously, it hadn't been his idea to be found by this Sirius Black and dragged in here unwillingly.

"So, both of you are first years right?" Sirius said, changing the topic.

Both James and I nodded, and I couldn't help but notice the admiration in James's eyes. What could there possibly be to admire about this boy in front of me? He seemed annoying and too in your face.

"Well, what house are you going to be in?"

"Houses?" I said uncertainly, looking around at their faces. Sirius stared at me in shock, James smiling but not in the mocking way, and Remus the only one who understood my confusion.

"When you first arrive, you're put into one of Hogwarts four houses – Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, or Slytherin," he explained, smiling encouragingly. "Gryffindor is for the brave, Ravenclaw for the smart, Hufflepuff for the loyal, and Slytherin for the-"

"Evil…" Sirius muttered under his breath.

"…witty," Remus finished, ignoring Sirius's interruption.

"Gryffindor is obviously the best," Sirius said. "And that's where I am going to be. I don't care what my family says, there is no way I am joining those cold-hearted bastards!" He high-fived James, who was laughing.

"Same here, dude!" James agreed.

Remus simply nodded, implying that he agreed also.

"But what about the others? Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw don't sound bad. I mean, they are loyal and smart. Don't you want to be those too?" I said.

Sirius laughed. "Yeah, right. Just trust me on this one, Lola-"

"Lily," both James and I corrected at the same time, sharing smiles.

"Whatever. Just trust me – Gryffindor is the house you want. They're smart, brave, and overall awesome."

I was still confused, but somehow I knew he was right. Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw didn't sound exciting at all and Slytherin reminded me of snakes and spiders, the two things I hated the most in the world.

"So, James, do you know any spells yet?" Sirius asked, turning away from me to James. My mood fell even more when James became engaged in the conversation, that same admiring look in his eyes, and Remus sat there for a while, just listening. I felt completely out of the loop. It made it only worse when Remus joined their conversation.

I sighed and fell back in my seat, resorting to looking out the window. It was beautiful, yes, but boring to watch for the next hour. That didn't sound fun at all, but I didn't stop. Not until I heard rustling and saw them all getting up.

I jumped up in surprise. "W-where are you guys going?"

Sirius exchanged a look with James, one that I happened to catch. They were already having silent conversations? When had this happened? And then James nodded, making Sirius roll his eyes, but turn to me anyways.

"We're going to pull a prank on…the Slytherins," he said.

"You want to come?" James asked excitedly.

"Why? That sounds dumb. They haven't done anything to you!"

I heard Sirius snort and saw Remus elbow him in the ribs. Did I say something?

"Haven't…? Are you mentally challenged or something?!" he cried, but to my satisfaction, both James and Remus kicked him in the shins. "Sorry," he muttered. "Okay, let's get this straight, Lizzy-"

"Lily," I corrected impatiently.

"-Slytherin is a vile house of people. There hasn't been a single wizard that has been put in that house that hasn't gone bad. They end people's _lives_ just because they feel like it. The darkest wizards in history usually come from Slytherin. So, why _not_ prank them? It's the least we can do when you really think about it."

I snorted. "Right, but they haven't done anything to you or me or James or Remus. No one in this school would hurt anybody, so why do you want to prank them. Just because they're related to them doesn't mean they have done anything!"

Sirius rolled his eyes, not even trying to hide the look he gave James. But to my utter astonishment, James smiled sheepishly then grabbed my arm and pulled me out into the hall.

"What are you doing?" I hissed trying to pull away.

"Come on, Lily, why don't you just go along with it this time? I don't want you to sit in there by yourself," he said earnestly, looking me straight in the eyes.

I shook my head. "It's not right. How can you agree with him? Why do you want to hang out with him so bad?"

"Because he's fun and I'm trying to make new friends!" Now both hands were on my arms and his eyes were locked on mine. I could see he desperately wanted me to just go along with this prank, but I couldn't. It just didn't feel right to give in to something so dumb like this.

"No, James. This isn't my thing," I said simply, shaking my arms free from his grasp. "You can go ahead; you don't need to stop _making friends_ just because of me. But while you do that, I'll be off finding my own friends."

I shot him one last smile (a very pathetic one probably) and walked down the hall looking for others to sit with for the rest of the ride. My heart felt like it had just been squeezed without mercy, but I couldn't give a care now. Obviously, James didn't have time to make _real_ friends – or keep the one he had.

James P.O.V.

I watched Lily walk away not looking away until she was out of sight. It felt like I'd just taken a blow the gut and I was too dumb to realize it was going to leave a bruise.

But I didn't stay for long. I had business to take care of, business involving some very unlucky Slytherins that were just going to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Sirius led us the way towards the Slytherins he had in mind. He'd mentioned a few names, like his cousin Bellatrix and someone else named Lucius Malfoy, but I didn't really care. After hearing from Sirius himself about what his family and family friends had done in the past, I just wanted the scumbags to pay, even if it were a small price like a prank. There were for sure more to come.

"Stop!" Sirius whispered, pushing both Remus and me back into a shadowy wall, and peeking around the corner.

"Wha-?" I started but then I heard the voices.

"…definitely Slytherin. You would be an idiot not to," someone with a squeaky voice said.

"Sev!"

My heart went cold. That was Lily's voice, her sweet, angelic voice. What was she doing near these bastards? And who was _Sev_? Her boyfriend? _No, not possible. She's too innocent to have a boyfriend, especially a _Slytherin, I reasoned with myself, but still I worried.

"Er, hi," another voice said.

"I'm so glad to see you! I'm not exactly having the best start to my train ride here… But whatever!" Lily said happily. "How come we didn't come to the train station together? You promised you would wait until I was ready to leave this morning!"

"Yeah, _Sev_, why didn't you wait for me?" the squeaky voice imitated Lily. A rush of anger flowed inside me, and it took every bit of self-control I had to keep myself from running out of my hiding and jumping the smug prat that insulted Lily, my red headed angel.

"Oh, who are you?" Lily asked. She sounded sweet, sure, but I could hear the bitter anger buried deep within her voice.

"Why should I have to tell you? You're just a stupid _mudblood._"

The last word came out in slow motion for me. _Mudblood_. How _dare_ he? How dare he call such a beautiful specimen that foul word? Had he no dignity at all?

Apparently, that was the final straw for my two new acquaintances also. All three of us came out of our hiding spot, glaring and wands at the ready, though I had no idea what we would do with them. None of us knew any spells.

"Leave her alone!" I hissed, taking a step toward the shortest boy. He had long hair that was so blonde, it was practically white.

"And who do you think _you_ are?" he said. He was the squeaky voiced one, I noticed immediately.

"An enemy you don't want to make, now leave her alone or I'll…" I looked around desperately in hope I would find something to clobber this devil child with. But I found nothing except for the wand I held in my hands. It didn't seem promising, but maybe you could do more than magic with it… "I'll shove this up your nose!" It was lame, but what else could I say?

And just as I had expected, both of them burst out laughing. The other was very greasy, his long black greasy hair falling on both sides of his face lamely and his nose protruding from his face, acting like a hook above his lips.

"Shut up! You're a horrible little person and you have no right to be laughing at him right now!" It was the first time she had spoken, but Lily looked pretty worked up right now. "Are you friends with him, Sev?"

I watched in dismay as she turned towards the greasy boy, with a look of trust. She trusted this boy? How could she? He was greasy and hung out with Slytherins which meant he was mostly likely to be one himself. Was she blind?

"Er, um, yes," '_Sev_' said finally. It was almost guilty the way he said it.

"Hmph, well I had better expectations, but oh well. Let's go find a compartment!" she said. My heart pummeled down to a crashing halt in my stomach. It was like I wasn't even here. Had she really meant that she didn't want to hold me back? It wasn't really that big of a deal to pull a prank. At least, not big enough for us to stop hanging out. I'd only just learned her name!

"Well, actually, I think I'll stay with-," the slimeball started, but was cut off by his friend.

"No, Severus, we should go find a compartment," the little guy said, his face distorting into an evil smile. "And bring your little…whatever she is with you, and we'll find some of my older friends. Maybe they'll have a little fun with her until the train gets to the school?"

Both Severus and I paled. What he meant by _fun_ was beyond me, but I could tell it wasn't a good idea to let Lily out of my sight.

"No, she's-," I started, but was interrupted.

"Um, sure," Severus said, looking almost astonished at what he'd said. Lily, being the ignorant girl she was, was still smiling. Obviously, the squeaky boy's words hadn't clicked in her head yet and she was set on the possibility of making new 'friends.'

"No!" I cried. The three of them looked at me in confusion. "I mean, er, she's already sitting in a compartment with us, _aren't_ you, Lily?" I said, hoping she would hear my desperation and pleading in my voice.

Thank Merlin, she did. "Um, yeah, right, just slipped my mind there for a second," she mumbled, staring at her porcelain hands. "I guess I'll see you around, Sev?"

He nodded, guilt and disappointment written all over his face. _Ha! Not in a million years will you _ever_ get in a compartment alone with her!_ I thought angrily, shooting daggers at the greasy boy.

* * *

It was quiet for the rest of train ride. Sirius was glum about not getting to pull the prank on the Slytherins. I wouldn't let him. Even when he said he would get back at them for what they said to Lily, I told him no. But there would another time for that.

Remus was fixed on ignoring everything and strictly kept his eyes on the book he'd brought along. He didn't speak once when we got back to our compartment, but I didn't blame him. The tension in the room was horrifyingly loud; it would probably drone out anyone who spoke at once.

And as for Lily and I, well we kind of just sat there across from each other. Every once in a while we would catch each other's eye, I would grin, and she would simply look away. But that was it. No talk about what happened, no "thank you for saving my arse", no angry debate how we were right and she was wrong. Nothing.

It scared the crap out of me.

I just got this angry vibe that emitted from her the whole ride. And somehow I knew it was directed towards me. I'd done something, I don't know what, but _something_ to make her mad. But how was I supposed to fix it when I didn't know what? If I only knew what, I would do _anything_ to get her to forgive me. She was the most precious thing I had ever seen in my life – I wasn't about to let her go that easily.


	2. Fifth Year

**Fighting For You**

**By BubbleLove1234**

**Chapter 2 – Fifth Year**

* * *

I'm holding on your rope,  
Got me ten feet off the ground  
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound  
You tell me that you need me  
Then you go and cut me down, but wait  
You tell me that you're sorry  
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall  
Take a shot for you  
And I need you like a heart needs a beat  
But it's nothin new  
I loved you with a fire red-  
Now it's turning blue, and you say...  
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you  
But I'm afraid...

_Apologize, One Republic_

"Just go away, Severus," I muttered as I walked away from him and the Gryffindor entrance. It stung my tongue to say his full name for the first time in years. _But I'm just going to have to get over that_, I thought. He hurt me, broke my trust, broke our friendship that I thought had been so strong. Well, apparently, I was wrong. He was just as bad as the others.

"Lily, wait! I'm _sorry_! I shouldn't have ever said that!" he called after me, but, thanks to my advanced observation skills, I could tell he wasn't completely sorry. I heard no footsteps. He wasn't even trying to get me to listen. He was just standing there, like the worthless Slytherin he was, waiting to get what he wanted without any effort. I was definitely seeing a side of Severus I had been to blind to notice before.

I continued to walk away. Where to, I had no idea. I just had to get away from _everything_. I couldn't let my friends see me how I was now, broken and on the verge of a meltdown; I couldn't let _anyone_ see me like this. It would too embarrassing and I had a strong image to uphold. Once the world saw me vulnerable, they would think everything was allowed to change. No, that was something I wouldn't allow to happen. Everything and everyone had their place. They had to keep their place always, or else the world as we knew it would end in complete chaos.

I was far away from Severus and his pleading calls now. I was walking, letting tiny bits of my anger out with each step, and only knew I was on the third floor…or was it second? I guess I didn't know after all. I knew absolutely nothing at the moment. If somebody jumped out this very moment, wand pointed in my face, I would not be able to recall any spells, even if my life depended on it.

This wasn't how things were supposed to turn out this year. I knew OWL's would be tough, but I didn't think my friendships would be tested too! I'd lost two friends this year – Abby Gladstone, one of my first friends since first year, was gone because she thought I was secretly seeing her boyfriend James Potter (gag!) behind her back, and now Severus, dear Severus, was gone too. Even though I knew Severus and I had been drifting apart ever since the beginning of the year, I never thought we would actually cut the ties, or that _I_ would be the one to cut them. I'd always imagined the rest of my life with him in it somehow. But now there was no hope. He had chosen his path, and I mine. It was over between us.

I knew Alice Swan and Marlene Meyers were happy that I had finally let go of Severus – they had always hated him since I introduced the three, and vice versa – but I was thankful that they weren't openly gloating about the fact. I was right to have chosen them as friends, if only I had listened to their complaints about him earlier, maybe I could have gotten this pain over with sooner.

I gulped, choking back my tears, and leaned on the wall for support. I couldn't go any further or I would break down for sure. My vision was becoming blurry already. It was a good thing I wasn't walking down any stairs or I would have fallen to my death by now.

I kept fighting the tears for a while. For some reason, I just couldn't let them out. I wanted to but couldn't.

_Oh, hell with it_. I couldn't hold the waterfall in any longer. I took a deep breath, blinked once, and – boom – the dam was gone and the tears flowed freely down my face. My sobs echoed through the halls, taunting me with their pathetic sounds. Each one ripped my throat and pained my heart. Why did I have to sound so pathetic?

This went on for about a half hour, never ceasing to choke me with each new sob. But after that, I was quieter, still crying, but not as loud. Tiny whimpers left my lips occasionally and tears would drop one by one from my cheeks and onto my bathrobe.

"Evans? Is that you?"

I jumped up, wiping my eyes clear of any tears roughly by my sleeves. When I met the eyes of the speaker, I just fell apart again. I couldn't speak to him now. He was part of the reason I was like this.

"Whoa, Evans, what's wrong?" He rushed to my side and caught me before I fell.

I just shook my head, sobbing like I had a half hour ago. It must have sounded terrifying. He must have thought I was choking, because he held me closer, patting my back comfortingly. I didn't have the strength to push him away, but I didn't want to either. I felt less alone, I felt safe in his arms. Every once in a while he would murmur "It's alright" or "Shh, its okay." They were the simplest words but the most comforting. They promised so much. And I believed him. Maybe it was the way he wasn't doing this just to be able to touch me, or how his warmth and kindness made me so comfortable even though this was going against everything I stood for, but this was calmest I had ever been ever since the beginning of the year when he held me like this when I lost Abby.

"J-James," I coughed. My throat was killing me. How long had I been crying now? An hour?

"Yes?" he murmured in my ear. His breath tingled my ear and I squirmed a bit.

"You can let go now…"

He nodded and immediately let go after helping me up to my feet. He stared at me peculiarly, like he was waiting for something. I turned my face away shyly. "Are you alright, Lily?"

I closed my eyes. No, I was not alright. I was losing friends every time I turned around, the ones that were always the closest. And yet, here you are, after the years of crap I gave you, you're still here comforting me when you should be laughing at my vulnerability. You're the person I like the least in the world, but you ignore that fact and help me when I ask for it or need it. A friend I've had since before first year just called me a Mudblood. And, to top it all off, I think I failed my Transfiguration OWL. Does that sound alright to you? But all I said was a whispered, "Yes."

"Don't lie to me, Evans. Tell me what's wrong."

I wasn't looking at him, but I could tell he was trying desperately to catch my eyes. I wouldn't let him. Because once we met each other's eyes, I would break and pour all of my problems out to him. Lily Evans doesn't let others know her vulnerability. It was like giving someone free access to your heart, giving them power to control it.

"What makes you think I'm lying?" I whispered, crossing my arms across my chest.

"Because no normal person cries for more than an hour, especially not you," he laughed bitterly. "Please, Evans, please tell me what's wrong? I think I deserve to know after you cried while sitting in my lap for forty-five minutes."

"Nothing. Is. Wrong," I insisted, my voice stronger than it was before. "So can you please leave me alone?"

He groaned impatiently, and scared me when he grabbed each side of my head with his hands. I'd lost. I was staring into his hazel eyes now. There was no way I could get out of here still strong now. "_Tell me_. You're killing me right now, Evans. Just, please, tell me and I'll leave you alone."

My heart skipped a beat. "No," I breathed.

"Please?" His begging was getting unbearable now, and it was even worse when I looked in his eyes. I _wanted_ to tell him, more than anything, but if I did, how did I know he wouldn't use it against me somehow in the future? I've seen him when he's the center of attention during the day. He will do anything to keep people interested. How did I know he won't spill all of my secrets tomorrow? I didn't, and I knew that. No matter how much I wanted to trust those eyes, I knew there was something in there that was so unpredictable it might take control of him at any time and tell everyone about my moment of weakness. I couldn't be vulnerable. I just couldn't.

"No, Potter," I muttered, pushing his chest with as much force as I could muster up. He didn't fight me; he let go right away, still staring me directly in the eyes. I looked away, almost feeling _guilty_ – he did, after all, have a right to know why I had spent almost an hour crying in his lap. "I don't need to tell you anything. It's none of your business, so stop being nosy prat, and _leave me the hell alone_."

"Fine." His voice was hoarse. It killed me to have to listen to it.

I stood there for what seemed like forever, listening to his footsteps fade away. I felt like I was making one of the biggest mistakes of life. Maybe I had taken it too far, maybe I should have trusted him for the first time in my life. So many maybes, and I had thought of them too late. There was no way I could chase after him now and tell him. He wouldn't listen. He would ignore me, just like I had always wished he would. I was an idiot. I was letting go of one of the nicest guys I had ever met, not knowing if I would ever win him back.

How many more people were I going to lose?

**Author's Note -**

**Well, here's the second chapter! I have no school today (yay!), so I might have Chapter 3 up by tonight as a treat! Please R&R! I need the comments to know you're there!**

**And thank you wolfgirl111 and ohhellohaylee for adding me!**


	3. Truth Or Dare

**Fighting For You**

**By BubbleLove1234**

**Chapter 3 – Truth Or Dare**

* * *

what a waste of time  
the thought crossed my mind  
but i never missed a beat  
cant explain the who or what i was  
trying to believe  
what would you do  
what would you do  
do you know  
i once had a grip on everything  
it feels better to let go

i'm not over  
i'm not over you just yet  
can not hide it  
you're not that easy to forget  
i'm not over

never took the chance  
could have jumped the fence  
i was scared of my own two feet  
could have crossed the line  
it was black and white  
no contrast to be seen  
what would you do  
what would you do  
do you know  
was it all a joke  
never had control  
i'm not better on my own

i'm not over  
i'm not over you just get  
can not hide it  
you're not that easy to forget  
i'm not over

what a waste of time  
the thought crossed my mind  
cant explian this thing or what i mean  
im trying to let go

_I'm Not Over, Carolina Liar_

Lily P.O.V.

I walked down the hall of the train, listening to Alice and Marlene chat away about their summers. I'd only talked once or twice since we got on the train and that was just to say hello and ask about their summers. I was exceptionally quiet today. Usually, I'm talking animatedly along with them, tripping over my feet because I wasn't paying attention to where I was going, but now I was…silent. I couldn't think of anything to say and I payed more attention to where I set my feet than usual. If my friends noticed the change, they were doing a good job of hiding it.

We found our normal compartment in no time, and luckily it was empty still. I took my seat by the window, preparing to look out of it for the rest of the trip. But my friends didn't particularly agree with this.

"So, Lils, how was your summer?" Alice asked, living up to her natural bubbly attitude.

"Fine," I said, attempting a smile but failing miserably.

"What did you do?" Marlene pressed.

"Nothing."

They exchanged confused glances. It was easy for me to know what was going through both of their heads right now. _Where's Lily? Is she okay?_ Of course I was okay. Why wouldn't I be? I mean, just because I was returning for my sixth year of Hogwarts knowing I would be ignoring two people I had loved more than anything doesn't mean I should be upset or anything. I knew it would be too hard to return to the Black Lake to study anymore because it would just remind me of what had happened after OWL's, and I couldn't return to Honeyduke's because that was where someone had declared I was a horrible friend and too slutty for my own good. Of course I was okay.

"Anywho, do you guys want to play a game?" Alice suggested. She hated tense situations.

"What game?" Marlene eyed her friend suspiciously. You could never trust Alice when she's in one of her game moods. She always found a way to make it one of the worst mistakes in your life.

"Truth or Dare!" Alice squealed, jumping up and down in her seat wildly.

Just then the compartment door slid open, and in strut Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and James Potter.

"Do my ears fool me, or did I hear somebody say 'Truth or Dare'?" he said mischievously, flashing a grin at us.

I rolled my eyes and returned to my window. I definitely wasn't in the mood to deal with the Marauders today or fight their relentless immaturity. Alice smiled widely, eyes twinkling, and Marlene simply glared at Sirius, probably trying to send all of her hatred towards him with one look.

"Yes! Do you want to join us?" Alice asked.

"No!" Marlene cried. "We are not playing that game, at least not with _them_!"

"But why not, Marls? It'll be so much more fun!" Alice got down on her knees in front of her friend, holding her hands below her chin to begin begging. "Please, oh, please, oh, please, oh, please? With a cherry on top?"

Marlene looked at her. She looked like she was about to burst out laughing at the crazy scene Alice was putting on, or about to punch Sirius in the face for daring to intrude the compartment. You could never tell with this girl.

"Oh, alright," she muttered. See what I mean? Even _I_ didn't expect that.

"Excellent," Sirius said, taking a seat next to Marlene. Poor girl, one could only resist him for so long.

Remus took the seat across from me, Peter across from Marlene, and James… Shit, he took the one across from Alice, which is right next to me.

But he paid me no attention. Not that I cared. I didn't want to talk to him yet, not so soon after that night last year. I would talk to him when I wanted to.

"So who's first?" Alice asked, looking around at the very squished compartment.

"That would be me, my dear," Sirius said, sending her wink before turning to Marlene. "Marlene, Truth or Dare?"

She just glared for a second, but soon enough she answered. "Truth."

"Alright then, who was the last boy you kissed?"

Her cheeks went red at that. For what reason, I didn't know, but it was very amusing to watch her struggle to answer that question. "Um, Derek Jones."

"What?!" Sirius spluttered, his eyes widening. "You've kissed that nasty mouth?"

"Yes, is there something wrong with that?" she said, looking defiant and daring Sirius to say anymore.

"No," he muttered. "Your turn."

"Ok... Lily?" I jumped at the sound of my name.

"Uh, dare," I whispered. I needed something to boost up my mood. Something daring couldn't be too bad right?

Marlene smiled deviously. "Ok, I dare you to…kiss Sirius for seven seconds."

James's body went rigid against mine, but I felt nothing.

"Um, Marlene, I don't think that's such a good idea…" Sirius mumbled, glancing worriedly at James.

"No, I'll do it," I said, my voice stronger than ever. This was exactly what I needed.

"What?" everyone said at the same time.

I nodded. "I'll do it." I got up and walked over to Sirius.

"Evans, really, don't do this. This is a bad i-," But he didn't get to finish because then I was kissing him. At first, he didn't respond, but then after two seconds, he became just as involved as I was – tongue and everything. Sirius couldn't resist a girl even if he tried.

After the seven seconds was up, I left my seat next to Sirius and returned mine. James was glaring at Sirius and Sirius was staring in a daze into space. No one said anything.

"My turn?" Marlene nodded, dumbfounded at my rashness. "Then, I choose…Alice."

And the rest of the train ride there continued as if nothing had happened. James was very quiet and ended up excusing himself from the game because of a stomach ache. Sirius followed, but I paid no attention to them. I was getting into the game, always choosing dare. I felt unstoppable.

James P.O.V.

"What the hell was that, man?" I yelled in Sirius's face when we found an empty hall.

"I didn't want to kiss her, Prongs! _She_ kissed _me_!" Sirius insisted.

"But you didn't stop her did you, now? No, instead you kissed her back, tongues and all!"

"Man, you know that girls have this power over me that I can't resist! And, no offence, but she is hot!"

"You're sick, Padfoot, you know that? I thought we were supposed to be friends!"

Sirius glared. "It was just a dare, mate. It's not like I'm running off with her to get married! And you two aren't even together! Do you know how pissed she would be right now if she saw how worked up you are about her kissing someone?"

I hesitated. He was right. I was being an idiot. She wasn't mine, it was just kiss, and Sirius would never have kissed her if she hadn't thrown herself at him. "You're right," I muttered in defeat. "I don't even know why I care…"

"Ah, Prongs, don't beat yourself up over her. As much as I want you to be happy, I don't think you should chase her anymore. You're killing yourself."

"Yeah, I know, that's…that's what I was planning to do this year. I want to get over her. There just isn't any chance for us anymore…"

"Good choice, mate!" Sirius patted me comfortingly on the back. I grimaced. "Now let's get back to the game, shall we?"

* * *

Later that night, I sat on the couch, watching the fire. Everyone else had gone to bed, but I wasn't tired. I was confused.

The last time I had talked to Lily was that night after OWL's in fifth year when she had cried away an hour sitting in my lap. That hadn't ended well, and now I had no idea what we were anymore. Last year, it was easy. I would annoy her, she would yell for a few minutes, then we would ignore each other for a few days, and then the cycle would begin once again. It may only be the first day back, but she hadn't ever looked at me today. She _always_ glances at me at least once even when we're ignoring each other. Why was this different?

But why should I care so much if she looks at me anymore? I was supposed to be getting over her, not staying up late at night moping. I had to get over this habit. I needed something else to distract me long enough to let me forget her.

_How can I forget her though?_ I thought. _How can anyone forget that beautiful face, that fiery attitude, that hair, those amazing eyes?_

I sighed. Those questions were right. How _was_ I going to forget her when she was so irresistibly beautiful?

_Easy – find another beauty._


	4. Silly School Crushes

**Fighting For You**

**by BubbleLove1234**

**Chapter 4 – Silly School Crushes Always Come To An End**

* * *

The faster we're falling,  
We're stopping and stalling.  
We're running in circles again  
Just as things we're looking up  
You said it wasn't good enough.  
But still we're trying one more time.

Maybe we're just trying to hard.  
When really it's closer than it is too far

Cause I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep,  
All the thoughts in my head, instead of going under.  
Cause I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep,  
All the thoughts in my head, instead of going under.  
Instead of going under.

Seems like each time  
I'm with you I loose my mind,  
Because I'm bending over backwards to relate.  
It's one thing to complain  
But when you're driving me insane  
Well then I think it's time that we took a break

_In Too Deep, Sum 41_

Lily P.O.V.

The next morning started just like any other morning would have. I woke up before everyone else in my dorm, was ready when they started getting ready, walked down to breakfast with Alice and Marlene an hour later, and had the usual – pancakes covered in peanut butter and syrup and a cup of orange juice. It was just like last year except for one thing – James Potter.

He wasn't incessantly asking me out or bugging me by stealing my pancakes or even simply breathing the air around me. He just wasn't…here.

I looked around the Dining Hall, my curiosity getting the best of me like always. The hall was just as lively as it was last year, more or less, and was quite active. It was almost impossible to look for someone in particular in the humble jumble as everyone began to pour in through the doors, unless they flew into the air wearing a tutu. I could've sworn I saw his messy dark hair once or twice, but I couldn't be sure because the next minute it would disappear. You would think after seeing that head for the past six years, I would have memorized it by now. Ha! Yeah, like _I_ pay that much attention to his hair. It bugs the bloody hell out of me, so why would I torture myself?

"Loogin' bor somb bon, 'ily?" Alice asked through a mouthful of doughnut.

My cheeks went red. "Um, no. Just…I don't know."

"Oh, stop it! You can tell us if you're looking for _him_," Marlene giggled, putting a heavy emphasis on the last word.

"W-what?" I stammered. Did they know? How could they know? They couldn't possibly know I was actually looking for James Potter!

"You know, you're _lover_," Alice added, barely containing her laugh.

"_Who_ are you _talking_ about?!" I cried, shaking wildly from embarrassment. If they knew, then I shouldn't be embarrassed, right? I mean, anyone should be wondering why James Potter wasn't bugging me just like always.

"Whoa, calm down, Lils!" Marlene said, holding her hands up. Alice also looked taken aback by my cry, for she had paused devouring her powdered doughnut. "We're just talking about…" She leaned in to whisper into my ear. "…Justin Farr."

At first, I was extremely confused. The name rang a bell, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Then it came to me, and I relaxed. "Oh, right, um, yeah. I was looking for…Justin." He was one of the hottest guys at Hogwarts. Perfectly cropped light brown hair that brushed the tips of his eyelashes and shadowed his striking blue eyes. His lips always looked soft and perfect, his nose not crooked in one place but sprinkled in cute freckles. He had a dimple on one cheek whenever he smiled, but whenever you noticed it, you had to smile at its adorableness. And he always dressed neatly. His shirt never hung out from his pants, his pants never showed his boxers, his shirt buttoned to the second to first button, and his tie was always straight and perfect. This didn't make him look gay or geeky, this made him look fresh and _hot_ – not something most guys could pull off. You see, you need his swagger and amazing smile and dimple to be able to pull it off. Not any guy off the street could walk into the dining hall like him, and not be laughed at. No, he was the only guy I had ever met that didn't get laughed at when he walked into the dining hall, and, trust me, plenty of boys have tried to copy his look – it never worked out.

"You know, I don't get why you don't just _talk_ to him. You do sit next to him in Transfiguration _and_ Defense. You have absolutely no reason as to why he isn't down on his knees begging you to go out with him," Marlene said, shaking her head.

"I…You…It's…complicated," I managed to get out, but I wasn't successful in hiding my blushing cheeks. "No, listen, Marlene – you too, Alice. You don't understand how…frustrating this is for me. I can't go out with him, even if he does like me, it's just impossible. What if…_someone_…finds us…together? What if that _someone_ just so happened to have had a silly crush on me for the past six years? What if that _someone_ hurts him or pranks him or does something, and he doesn't want to be with me because he's scared of what this _someone_ might do next? You just never know with this _someone_ because they are just so freaking unpredictable and touchy and protective over someone who doesn't even like them back!" I ended my speech with a violent stab to my pancakes.

"So what are you going to do, Lily? Hm? Are you just going to let Ja- I mean…_someone_…control your love life for the rest of your life? You can't just let him decide for you. You have to fight back, but…" Marlene trailed off, a smile playing at her lips. "But I still think you and this _someone_ would make a perfect couple. If you just gave them a chance to—"

"No," I said firmly. "No, I will not give them a chance. They've proven their worth many times over and I'm _sick_ of it. But…you're right," I continued, on a much lighter note. "I shouldn't let this _someone_ ruin my love life. I need to fight back. Thank you so much, you guys. Now, I think I'm going to go find Justin." I smiled mischievously, sending them a wink, and then rushed out of the Dining Hall to my first class – Transfiguration.

* * *

In a way I was lucky – I had Transfiguration with both Justin _and_ James. James sat right behind me, a perfect view to see the soon to come notes that I would be passing with Justin, who actually sat right next to me. He would be able to see both of our notes. How perfect was that?

I was one of the last people to take their seats before the bell rang, and smiled while doing so, sending this flashing smile towards Justin. He saw it and smiled back, a smile that almost made me faint on the spot.

"Alright class, today we will be reviewing the technique of transforming objects into an animal…"

But Professor McGonagall's voice slowly became a low hum in my ear as I being eagerly scribbling out a note to Justin, who thankfully wasn't paying attention to her either. _Because he's so smart, of course_, I thought dreamily, biting my lip to control my urge to grin.

I subtly slipped the note to him, but made sure James noticed the exchange from behind but Professor McGonagall did not.

_Lily, _Justin

_Hey, I'm having a feeling this class will just as boring as History of Magic is, so wanna just chat?_

Sure. What about?

_I really don't know! So, you're in Ravenclaw, right?_

Right.

_And Ravenclaws are smart, right?_

Right.

_Great, so you would be close to an expert on Defence then._

I guess I would. Why?

_Well, I'm having trouble with the spells we learned last year, especially the Patronus, so I was wondering…if maybe you could tutor me? I really need the help!_

I would be honored to. When do you want to have the first study session?

_How during our free period? Library?_

Okay, I'll meet you in the corner at the back.

* * *

My heart beat uncontrollably when I read his reply. The corner in the back was the darkest corner in the library. Only those who were looking for an easy to find snogging area went there because there was privacy and the vulture-like librarian, Mrs. Pince, never bothered to check back there because you could never hear any sounds coming from over there. Unless you listened closely, your ears pricked for any such behavior, would you be able to hear the kissing session. But, alas, she did not _prick her ears_ for such a thing. Mrs. Pince would never _dream_ that such a _foul _activity was in place in the _library_. Good heavens, no!

I smiled deviously to myself, and replied back within seconds.

_Can't wait! ;)_

* * *

I was practically flying while I made my way through the library to the back. I knew I had an idiotic grin on my face by the way people were looking at me. But I didn't care. I was on my way to meet Justin _freaking_ Farr in the darkest corner of the library! They should all be jealous.

"Hey, Justin!" I chirped when I reached the table.

He grinned in return, and patted the seat next to him – _right_ next to him.

"So how has your day been so far?" I asked, plopping down as close to him as I could possibly get.

"Great now that you're here." He flashed another brilliant smile. "So, let's get started…"

And we worked with the occasional flirt for the first twenty minutes. We could barely stay focused for the main part because he either kept tickling me when I got something wrong, or I would steal the book to cheat on questions which led to him grabbing hold of me and tickling me until I gave in. Eventually I ended up on his lap still holding onto the book.

"So are you going to give me the book back?" he asked, and I could barely focus on anything but how minty his breath was – that's how close our faces were. _Inches_ apart.

"Maybe…maybe not…" I said playfully, biting my lip to hold my nervous giggling in.

"How could I make that into a definite _yes?" _He moved in a bit closer. _Centimeters_ apart. I'm feeling light headed now…

"I think I can think of something…" I said breathlessly, my eyes zoned in on his lips.

"Are you going to tell me?"

I smiled and shook my head.

"Are you sure?"

I shook my head again, not noticing my head move in more.

"Then show me."

It was just those three little words that I needed to hear to know this wasn't all just my imagination. He really did like me and he wanted to kiss me just as badly as I wanted to kiss him. Usually I would have waited for him to make the move but his minty fresh breath and brilliant blue eyes boring into mine and warm body and sitting in his lap was driving me over the edge. So I took the chance while it was knocking and closed the small distance between our lips without hesitation.

I sighed into his mouth, allowing him access inside, and leaned into the kiss even more. I've been waiting for this moment ever since fifth year, and now that I had it, I was going to make the best of it. I could feel his eagerness too, and he held me even closer. The book dropped from my hands with a large _thump_ as I lifted them to drag them through his soft hair. I was in heaven. He let one hand travel down from the middle of my back to my thigh and held me close with the other. I was about to faint… This was just too good to be true…

"_Excuse_ me?"

I jumped away from him in haste, wiping my mouth and cheeks flaming red. And who stood before me was the one and only, Mrs. Pince.

"I, um, we…" I stuttered, trying to find a reasonable explanation for…what we had been doing.

"This is a _library!_" She shrieked, hurrying to save the book I'd dropped. "How _dare_ you contaminate this beautiful spot? Students have to _sit_ in that chair, you know?! How _dare_ you contaminate this _treasure_ with your filthy hands? Have you no respect for fine literature? Have you no dignity? Have you no self-respect? I thought you were one of the _good_ ones, but now I know! Oh, yes, now I know! You're one of the _dirty_ girls that only use this wonderful world for your own dirty uses!"

"What?" I gasped. "No, no, Mrs. Pince, you don't understand! We…we…"

She screamed and threw her hands up into the air. "Don't _speak_ to me! Don't ever speak to me! Don't ever enter this library again, or I'll give you a year's worth of detention! GET OUT!"

I stared at the mad lady in complete and utter astonishment and fear. She couldn't actually be _serious_, could she? It couldn't possible for her to actually ban a student from the library, could it? I _need_ this library. It's the only place I could get books! In fact, it was the only place anyone could get books! _This can't be happening!_ I thought frantically.

When I didn't move from my spot, she went into a frenzy. "_Get out, get out, get out!_ Don't touch anything, just leave _now!_ Or I swear I will have Filch behead you! Get out!" she screeched, shooing me out.

With one helpless glance at Justin, I spun on my heel and ran out of there as quickly as possible. Everyone stared at me while I left, and I figured they had heard the whole scene, even those who were on the other side of the library. This just got better and better…

Tears were threatening to fall from my eyes as I pushed and shoved my way through the crowded halls, but I couldn't let them out. There were too many people, too many witnesses, that could pass the news on to another student, and then when everyone found out the real reason I had cried, I would become the laughing stock of the school. I wasn't going to cry.

But they kept trying to swarm over the walls of my eyelids. I wouldn't be able to hold them in for much longer, and people were already beginning to notice my watery eyes. I looked around desperately for the nearest bathroom and – voila! – there it was, in all its glory, the girls' bathroom.

And just in time for the water works to come pouring out.

I sat in the very last stall, letting the tears fall freely but quietly. I honestly had no idea why I was so worked up about this. After all, Professor Dumbledore would probably reason with Mrs. Pince and in no time I would be back in the library just like always.

But maybe it wasn't that I had just been banned. Maybe it was because of what she said? '_Dirty girl…Filthy hands…'_ Her harsh words continued to replay themselves in my head without mercy. It was absurd to think that I really was a slut, but for some reason I couldn't stop thinking about it. What if I was _becoming_ a slut? I mean, I did just make out with a guy I barely know in the darkest corner of the library. I think that's pretty slut-worthy.

"Lily?" someone's voice called.

I lifted my head from my knees and brushed the hair out of my face, tugging at the strands that had dried to my face. I unlocked the door and peeked out a bit, being careful not to show too much of my red rimmed eyes.

But it was just Alice. "Oh, Lily! What happened?" She rushed over to me and pulled me into a giant hug.

"Um, nothing really…" I mumbled, rubbing my eyes clear of any tears. Even around my friends, it's hard to be seen crying. But then I went through the whole story, telling her everything from when I got to the corner to the flirting to the kiss and to Mrs. Pince finding us.

"But she _never_ looks back there…" Alice muttered, dumbfounded. "I am so sorry, though, Lils. Mrs. Pince is such a-."

"Alice!"

"Well, she is!" she protested. "Come on, Lils, let's get you back up to the dorm. No offence, but you look crappy."

"Aw, thanks," I muttered, rolling my eyes. "Wait – can we wait until everyone gets to their classes? I don't really want people to…you know…see me…"

She smiled understandingly. "So, what do you want to talk about for the, what is it? five minutes?"

I laughed and began telling her about the study date. She was eager to hear all the details, though I didn't get too PG-13 with the kissing part. And she didn't push for details either. We spent twenty minutes in there, sitting on the cold ground of the girls' bathroom, chatting. First about Justin, then what I was going to say to him when I saw him next, and then we argued about Alice's 'friend,' Frank Longbottom. She denied anything romantic between them, but I could totally see the sparkle of excitement that comes with a new crush in her brown eyes. I wondered if I got the same look on my face when I talked about Justin. I mean, if a kiss was that wonderful, then you've got to get some kind of lovey-dovey, puppy dog eye look in your eyes, right?

James P.O.V.

This had to be the most boring class in the history of boring classes. History of Magic was always dull, but I never knew it could get _this_ boring. Professor Binns even looked like he was about to fall asleep, and usually he looks like he's having the time of his life during his lessons.

I looked around the room, my eyes drooping, and could feel something was different about this class; something was missing. Well, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were there; Snape was there, shooting glares in my direction whenever he could, but we already had his books charmed to always slip out of his hands when he tried to pick them up and his quills to shoot ink in his face when he tried to use them, so there was no worry there. But what was _missing?_

Then it hit me: Lily Evans.

Her red hair was nowhere to be found in the classroom. She wasn't in the front row like usual, doing her best to stay awake and take notes, and she wasn't in the back either. Did something happen? Was she sick? _Maybe I should ask get kicked out and go check the Hospital Wing…_

_No_, I thought firmly, remembering my decision. No more Lily. Find someone else. I needed to find someone completely different than her, that meant no more fiery temper and hair to go with it, no more deep emerald eyes, no more porcelain skin. Whoever I found had to be nothing like Lily.

James, **Sirius**_**, **__Remus, _Peter

**Hey, Prongs, what's up with you? You've been quiet all day.**

Nothing, just tired, that's all.

**Okay, then. So are you taking notes? I'll be needing some.**

_You are so ignorant, Sirius. It's obvious that something is bothering James. And I'll give you one guess as to what – or should I say who – is bothering him._

**Ah, his sweet Lily Flower!**

_Exactly, so, Prongs, what happened now? Have another show down with Evans?_

You guys are making things up in your head. There is absolutely nothing bothering me, so bugger off will you?

**Someone's a bit touchy…**

_Now I know something's up._

**Evans probably rejected him for the, what is it now, Pete?**

I believe five hundred eighty-seventh time.

**Wow, only five hundred eighty-seven? Amazing…**

Shut up, Sirius.

**Touchy, touchy…**

I mean it – if you don't shut up, I'll pummel you.

**Touchy, touchy Jamsie Poo, oh what in the world is up with you?! Did Evans reject you? Is that why you're blue?**

Damn it, Padfoot, now you've got us both detentions for the rest of the week.

**Not my fault you can't punch without the teacher seeing…!**

_Just be quiet, Sirius. So what happened, James?_

Nothing has happened! Especially not with Evans. I'm over her, guys.

**I believe Hell has frozen over, men.**

I'm serious. She was right all along – it's just been a silly school crush all this time. Now she just bugs me…

_Silly school crushes don't last for six years and then disappear just like that._

Five years, and apparently mine does.

But what about your undying love for her?!

Dead.

**I wonder when the pigs start flying…?**

_What do you mean _dead?

Dead.

_So you're just going to be over her with the snap of your fingers?_

Yep.

**Dear Merlin, I think I just saw one!**

In fact, I'm already moving onto the next girl, someone much more fun and won't give me a black eye each time she sees me.

**Nevermind, that was just Professor Binns' wig…**

_Padfoot, Professor Binns doesn't wear a wig…and his hair isn't pink or any other pig-like color._

**Just seeing if anyone was listening to me.**

Who is it?!

**Your mom.**

_Sirius…_

**What? I feel so excluded! I need attention too!**

_Well, right now we're focusing on James, so SHUT UP._

Sabrina Smith.

_The Ravenclaw?_

The hot Ravenclaw.

**He really has lost it hasn't he?**

Well, he did just say that he's over Evans and is after Smith.

**Point taken.**

_So you're going to ask her out?_

**That is if he still knows how to ask a girl out without getting rejected…**

During lunch. I'll ask her to the first Hogsmeade Trip.

_So you're really over Evans._

I'm as over Evans as Sirius is over guys.

**I HAVE NEVER BEEN GAY!**

My point exactly.

**You are sick, man.**

_Are you sure about this?_

I'm as sure as Sirius is sure about girls.

**Why do all of your similes involve my sexuality?**

Dunno.

_Well, lunch sure is going to be interesting…_


	5. Kiss And Tell

**Author's Note –**

**Okay, so I know I may be being a bit slow on the updates, but I'm really hoping you guys aren't too upset! I'm doing my best to work on this every day, but with school and keeping up with the real world, it's getting pretty difficult. Feel free to message me and tell me to hurry up any time! I will try to update at least once a week.**

**Moving on, I believe thanks is in order. Thank you everyone for replying and adding and subscribing! I would be so lost if I thought I had no readers! Please keep those replies comin'! And for those silent readers out there, **_**please**_** let me know if you're there! I am all for those replies! Oh, and I would love some criticism and suggestions. Just letting you know! Okay, now I'll let you go and read CHAPTER 5!!! Enjoy!**

* * *

**Fighting For You**

**By BubbleLove1234**

**Chapter 5 – Kiss and Tell**

_Crashed on the floor when I moved in  
This little bungalow with some strange new friends  
Stay up too late, and I'm too thin  
We promise each other it's till the end  
Now we're spinning empty bottles  
It's the five of us  
With pretty eyed boys girls die to trust  
I can't resist the day  
No, I can't resist the day_

__

Jenny screams out and it's no pose  
'Cause when she dances she goes and goes  
Beer through the nose on an inside joke  
I'm so excited, I haven't spoken  
And she's so pretty, and she's so sure  
Maybe I'm more clever than a girl like her  
The summer's all in bloom  
The summer is ending soon

It's alright and it's nice not to be so alone  
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses

_Maybe I'm a little bit over my head  
I come undone at the things he said  
And he's so funny in his bright red shirt  
We were all in love and we all got hurt  
I sneak into his car's black leather seat  
The smell of gasoline in the summer heat  
Boy, we're going way too fast  
It's all too sweet to last_

_White Houses, Vanessa Carlton_

Lily P.O.V.

Alice and I walked down the crowded corridors to the Dining Hall, tears spilling from our eyes because we were laughing so hard at our clumsiness. We'd just tripped six times over either a crack in the floor, our feet, or one another's feet, and fallen four times. Bystanders just watched us, clearly amused by the sight.

"So how come I'm not included in this laughing fiasco?" Marlene said, announcing her presence and began walking with us.

Our laughter paused for a moment as Alice and I exchanged glances, and then we burst out into hysterics once again. Marlene simply shook her head in mock disappointment and walked next to us silently the rest of the way.

When we reached the hall, we let our feet take us to our usual spots (close to doors and exactly fifteen seats away from the Marauders' usual spots.) Alice and I had finally gotten over our laughing fit, and were actually looking _sane_ while we grabbed pieces of bread and salad and poured juice. I made sure to get the best apple near us before my friends (ignoring their envious scowls) and began digging in.

"So how has your day been so far?" Marlene asked in between bites in her bagel.

I sighed. My mood immediately plummeted. "Um, I'd rather not talk about it…"

"Oh, please, Lily, it's not that big of a deal! I mean, I bet the whole school already knows about it!" Alice said, with a nudge in my ribs. "Just tell her, you big wimp."

I shot her a glare and took another bite out of my apple. She merely shrugged and returned to her lunch. Rolling my eyes, I turned back to Marlene who had the most confused look on her face. "There was a bit of a…incident today in the library…" I started, feeling the first sign of embarrassment burn my face.

"Excuse me," someone asked cut in quietly.

I turned, and knew the second stage would begin shortly. "Er, h-h-h-hi?"

He smiled, his amazing teeth dazzling me for a second's notice. "Could we talk? Privately…?"

My eyes unknowingly darted towards Alice and then back. She was smiling encouragingly, while she herself was admiring Justin's show-stopping hotness. I nodded, and he grabbed my hand and pulled me along with him out of the Dining Hall.

Just as we reached the doors, they opened and in walked James Potter and the rest of his posse. My heart stopped and I felt like I was going to puke. This was perfect, just _perfect_. Now there was absolutely no chance for Justin and I. James was sure to make a scene when he saw me being dragged out by somebody – the _opposite sex_ kind of somebody. And-

And he was gone. Just like that, without a glance or angry outburst. He didn't do _anything_. What the _hell? _I stared after him, my brows furrowed in confusion, and just before they all sat down (come to think of it, none of them paid any attention to me…), the doors closed, and it was just me and Justin – alone.

My eyes flashed to his face, and I had to do a double-take. He was inches away from my face and his eyes were so blue at the moment, I felt like I had just been shocked by static electricity.

"Okay, so I know our 'study date' didn't end so well…" he began, his minty breath brushing gently against my face. "But I just wanted you to know, I didn't care the least what happened. I thought it was the best way to spend a free period, if you're willing to erase the last bit?"

I bit my lip, and nodded.

He let out a relieved sigh. "And…well, I also wanted to let you know… I really like you, Lily. _A lot_. I know we kind of cheated today, but I don't care, as long as that means you feel the same way about me. If you, Lily Evans, feel the same towards me as I do towards you, would you like to officially be my girlfriend?"

I think the breath was just knocked out of me. I stood there, shocked, staring into his eyes, wondering if I'd just heard him correctly.

His face fell a little, and he stepped back a bit. "I mean, that is, we can go out on a date first if you'd like… Or do nothing at all…"

I lifted my hand to his mouth, stopping him in his tracks. "I'd love to do both – the first two, please."

And I was amazed once again with his stunning smile. "Oh, thank Merlin," he breathed before leaning in slowly and pressing his lips against mine.

It may not have been our first kiss, but it was sweet enough to count as anything. I felt completely adored, and could feel something stir inside me. It was weird, something I'd never felt before. It was warm, fuzzy, almost discomforting. It made me want more of him, and it made me want to get away from him as fast as possible. But I ignored the feeling – I would deal with it later when I had friends to help me decipher it – and focused on the kiss.

This had to be the best day _ever_.

* * *

"So what did I miss?" I whispered in Marlene's ear as I threw myself into the seat next to her in Charms.

"Class or lunch?" she whispered back.

I smiled. "Both, class first though."

"You haven't missed much. Just a lecture today, and I'll let you borrow the first notes later," she said, while scribbling more notes down. "Now, as for lunch… We'll be need the special notes for this one."

"Dang, that serious?"

"Ohhh yeah."

"Okay, let me get started really quick and I'll get the note."

Marlene, _Lily_

Okay, spill.

_Marls!_

No, you first.

_Fine…lunch deets or library deets?_

I already heard about the library. Alice told me while you were gone.

_Lunch deets it is then! Okay…are you holding on to your seat?_

Uh, yes?

_Are you sure? Because this is pretty big._

Just tell me, dammit!

_Fine! He kissed me._

Again? Dang, you got it goin' on Lils!

_Shush. And you want to know what else?_

No, I don't.

_What…?_

Sarcasm, Lily, sarcasm. Of course I want to hear more!

_Good! He asked me to be his _OFFICIAL_ girlfriend!_

You go, girl!

_And to answer your question that you didn't really ask but I'll answer anyway, I said yes!_

And then you had a hot, loving, sweaty make-out session, right?!

_Um, thanks for the detailed description, but no._

Wow, boring. Way to kill the mood.

_Just because you feel the need to have 'hot, loving, sweaty' make-out sessions, doesn't mean that's the only way to kiss somebody, Marls._

What?!

_I know, I know – I wanted to break it to you slowly, but you left me no choice: You can kiss somebody, Marlene, without getting sweaty or too physical. Now cry me a river, build me a damn bridge, and get over it!_

You have no idea what this means-

_Oh, whatever, I'm not letting you finish, so stop trying to steal this! Now moving onto other news… What's so important that we had to use the special notes?_

Ah, yes, _lunch._ It was actually very interesting, you see…

_Could you please just tell me?_

Ugh, whatever, you know, I was trying to go for a dramatic build-up, but you ruined it! Just like the mood you killed a few notes ago!

_Get over it, you big baby!_

Hey! That hurts! Right where it counts!

_How about that?_

Oh, nice job! My scream of _agony_ that was caused by your gigantic _foot_ was pretty loud, you know! Now here comes the big bad Professor!

_Thanks, now we have detention! I swear, Marlene, I am going to kill you in your sleep!_

Thank me?! Thank you! If you'd just kept your feet to yourself Flitty never would have come over here!

_Oh, shush, and just tell me what happened!_

Fiiinnne. Your lover boy (no not _Justin_, the other one – _Jamsie Poo_) is finally over you!

_What?_

James. Freaking. Potter. Is over you! He asked out Sabrina Smith as soon as he entered the dining hall!

_Um, wow, that sure makes me feel special…_

Oh, _please!_ Don't you dare tell me you finally care if he has – had – some kind of undying love for you!

_Oh, hell no! I'm just saying… He's moving onto Sabrina Smith, the sluttiest girl in Hogwarts, from me?_

So you're comparing yourself to Smith.

_Well…yes. I just find it a bit insulting, don't you agree?_

Um, no.

_Whatever._

Anyways… I suggest we have a girls' night tonight, in celebration of the unbearable burden of you being Potter's love being lifted off our shoulders and dumping it upon Smith!

_That's a long title._

I call making the banner!

_You are so weird, Meyers, but the world loves you anyway._

Aw, thanks, Evans!

_But it's a school night, so no to the girls' night._

No fun! How about Friday?

…_._

Come on, Lils! This is an event we _need_ to celebrate! No more Potter! We can play games, like…Pin the Chainsaw on Potter, or Makeover Sweet Smith for the Date with the Pig! _Please!!_

_Fine._

Hallelujah!

_You're in charge of telling the others, and I'll take care of the snacks though._

No fair! You know I can't stand Lucy!

_Too bad, she's our roommate, and you always pick the most revolting snacks._

You're kind of cruel at times, you know that?

_Yes, so stop your complaining._

Okay, look at me.

_You are so immature._

The finger explains everything, so…later! See ya in detention tonight!

* * *

I walked back to the common room after classes that day, confused out of my mind. He was over me _– finally_. It was what I'd been waiting for six years. And just in time – we both had a boyfriend-slash-girlfriend. So what was my problem? Why did I care in slightest? Okay, so he moved on to someone else (Smith of all people), but that's what I've always wished for. Why did it matter who it was? As long as he was out of my life, I was _supposed_ to be ecstatic. No more incessant declared loves during dinner, no more bra-stealing and shouting through the halls that he slept with me with the bra to prove it, no more _Potter_. This had to be the best thing that had ever happened to me in all my years at Hogwarts, especially if you added the happiness from being with Justin. I was _supposed_ to be ecstatic.

What was _wrong_ with me?!

I took a deep breath to calm myself, and paid more attention to where I was walking. But the tiles were annoying, with their uneven edges and cracks. I returned back to my daydreaming.

Justin Farr. Lily Farr. It had a kind of uniqueness to it, but sounded wrong. _Maybe if I change my name…_ I thought. Miranda Farr – no. Summer Farr – no. Nicole Farr – no. Jordan Farr – no. Tamarika Farr – _hell no_. Oh, well, Lily Farr is good.

Then I went on to when we kissed. That feeling I got was so…odd. It was pushing and pulling me towards and away from him. Was that a good or bad thing? And it churned my stomach awkwardly, like butterflies but not completely, and sent chills through my body. It was warm and cold. I hated it and loved it. Hot and cold, love and hate… Was this confusion I was feeling? Or…love?

A smile broke across my face. It had to be the last one, it just had to be. Now that I thought about it again, it just had to be love. I loved him. I loved Justin. I, Lily Marie Evans, loved Justin Fox Farr. I was in _love._

Just that thought made the walk to the common room that much faster.

James P.O.V.

"So, Jamsie, what are we doing tonight?" Sabrina looked up at me from where she lay with her head in my lap while we sat on the floor in an empty corridor. I was reading a favorite book of mine, and she just lied there, rubbing her thumb across my arms, occasionally suggesting we move to a quieter, _darker_ place. She was so annoying. We couldn't talk about anything, and when we did, all she would say was stupid things like, '_You're arms are so strong'_ or '_I've always dreamt of being with you…alone_' or '_I wish I had a British accent'_ when she meant Australian. Had she no respect for herself?

"Um, nothing," I muttered. "I already told you, I have detention with Sirius tonight."

"Hmph, I really wish you wouldn't get so many detentions. You never have time for us!" she whined, sitting up straight and dragging her hands through my hair in what was probably supposed be in a seductive manner.

"Uh, we just started going out four hours ago, at lunch. And since then you've followed me around all day. I've spent every second with you," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Yeah, but…" She stuck her bottom lip out. "I just want you to like me, Jamsie. Is there anything so wrong about that?"

I sighed and set my book down to look her in her blue eyes. "Of course not, baby. You know I feel the same." Ah, those lines… I couldn't even remember how many times I'd used them on girls. Definitely over two hundred though.

She beamed. "Great, so do want to go…_do something?"_

She really had to stop making that face. It was not attractive at all… But I grinned the smile that knocks the breath out of every girl, and took her hand and locked each other in a nearby broom closet.

But the whole time we were in there, I couldn't stop thinking how useless this seemed. I was never going to find anyone that I could love like I loved _someone_ or anywhere near how much I loved her. There was only one girl I had ever fallen for, and the girl I was with at the moment was not that girl. _Never will be either…_ I though grimly.

And that was I had to do this. I couldn't keep killing myself over each cold rejection I got, and I couldn't take the embarrassment any longer. I'd thought I could handle it before, but I just couldn't. I had to get over her, no matter what. It wasn't worth it any more.

* * *

**Author's Note –**

**Sorry, James' P.O.V. was short, but I wanted to save the detention scene for the next chapter!**

**So, like? Please read and reply! Thank you everyone! I love you all!**

**-BubbleLove**


	6. Detention

**Author's Note -**

**I'm so sorry it's been so long! I've been so busy, I _almost _forgot to update, but thanks to Winter Break, I didn't completely forget! From now on, I'll try to get at least one chapter out each week, but I can't make any promises. Anyhoo, thank you for reading everyone, and remember to read and reply! Enjoy!**

* * *

**Fighting For You**

**By BubbleLove1234**

**Chapter 6 – Detention**

_Tell me why you're so hard to forget.  
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.  
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.  
I'm just a little too not over you.  
Not over you...._

__

Memories, supposed to fade.  
What's wrong with my heart?  
Shake it off, let it go.  
Didn't think it'd be this hard.  
Should be strong, movin' on.  
But I see you.  
Sometimes I try to hide  
What I feel inside.  
And I turn around,  
You're with him now.  
I just can't figure it out.

_Tell me why you're so hard to forget.  
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.  
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.  
I'm just a little too not over you._

_A Little Too Not Over You, David Archuleta_

Lily P.O.V.

When I walked into detention in Filch's office, I realized I was the last to come. Marlene was already sitting in a chair, along with Sirius and…James.

_This is going to be fun…_ I thought bitterly to myself and took a seat.

The screeching of my chair announced my presence and immediately everyone looked up. Filch narrowed his eyes at me limped over to the door with a quiet, "Come on, then."

Marlene and I walked next to each other automatically, the same for Sirius and James. It was quiet the whole, not a whisper or giggle, and no one tried to break the silence, except for Filch who went on and on about our insolent behavior and our lacking in the ability to follow rules. No one else was in the halls tonight, and we didn't even hear couples in broom closets. It was disconcerting, unbearable.

"Alright, tonight the four of you pathetic excuses for human beings will be washing every window in the school," he said when we reached an empty corridor. "And without magic, so give me ye wands… You'll be in two groups of two, chosen by me. So, Black with...Meyers, and ye know the rest… You two start in this corridor and I want you, _Potter_, and you to start on the first floor. I'll be checkin' up on ye so don't even think of tryin' to get outta this."

We watched him walk away, a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, until we couldn't hear his footsteps any longer. Then, Sirius turned to us all, a grimace in mine and James' direction.

"Well, then, Meyers, let's get started shall we?" he said with a note of uncertainty. They both looked uneasy, probably because of the pairing situation.

She nodded.

"Come on, Evans," James said tersely.

I stared after him with a strange expression on my face. This had to be the first time he had ever given me the cold shoulder. Something was wrong, terribly wrong. But what happened? Did I do something? _Ha! _ I thought, almost bursting out in laughter. I was actually worrying that I did something to upset _James Potter_. Funny, real funny…

Cleaning was not in any way enjoyable, even though that was Filch's intentions. But James never talked to me, I never talked to him… Don't detention buddies at least _talk_? And since when did Potter pass up the chance to be alone with me while we're alone for almost the entire night? All he did was move swiftly to get the job done quickly, never glancing at me once (not that I was paying any attention to how many times he looked at me.) I would have said something, but I was almost scared of what he would say.

But finally I'd had enough when we were half way through with the windows in one corridor on the second floor. "Okay, what's up? What's wrong with you? Why aren't you talking?" I blurted, throwing my soapy sponge on the ground next to my feet.

"You're not talking either…" he muttered, continuing to scrub the higher windows.

"Because I don't know what to say!" I said in exasperation. When he gave no response, I groaned and picked up my sponge and returned to my job. "Seriously, James, what's wrong with you? Why are you being so quiet?"

"Maybe I don't have anything to talk about."

"You _always_ have something to talk about." I sighed, and dropped my sponge again and walked over to where he stood. "_What's wrong?"_

He paused, his eyes glancing quickly down at me. "Nothing, just…tired."

I snorted. "Right. Last year, you never blew me off even when you were tired."

"Yeah, well, it's not all about you all the time," he said suddenly. "See, that's what's so annoying about you – you think anything that has to do with everything is about you and you can't stand not knowing something, so you drive that person insane until they want to strangle you! Why can't you just leave people alone for once?"

I blinked, surprised tears had actually come to my eyes at his words. "I-I… You do the same…same thing, too!" I insisted, my voice cracking from the threatening tears.

He snorted, and finally dropped his sponge too to face me. "Just admit it; you know it's true. You're just a nosy know-it-all who's too proud for her own good."

I bit my lip. "N- Just… What's your problem?" I whimpered, crossing my arms in front of myself insecurely.

"Obviously it's…" But he didn't finish because just then three tears escaped and rolled down my cheeks.

I turned away quickly to wipe them away, but I knew that once they started, they wouldn't stop. Soon they were all flowing freely down my face and staining my shirt and all you could hear was me trying to muffle my sobs.

"Evans…" he whispered, setting a hand on my shoulder.

I shrugged him off, and swung around to face him, forgetting for a moment about my tears. "I just wanted to know what was wrong, you know? Anybody would have asked the same questions. Would you have said that to them too if somebody else was here? Or is it just me now? If you don't want to talk to me or be around me, then just say it instead of being a duchebag!" I turned on my heel, and walked back to my sponge and bucket, wiping tears from my eyes with sleeve of my robe.

"God damn it…" I heard him mumble before his footsteps began and I heard him following. "Lily! Wait! Please, just…wait!"

"Oh, you want to talk now?" I yelled back, not stopping.

"Yes, just please come back! I'm sorry!"

I laughed bitterly. "And how many times have you practiced that line?"

"Will you please stop? I'm sorry, I never should have said that, any of it."

I stopped, mostly because the tears were blocking my vision, but that was all it took for him to catch up with me and spin me around by the shoulders.

He didn't say anything, just stared into my eyes, searching for something. For what I didn't know, but I could see his eyes darting back and forth between mine. We were close, almost closer than I'd been with Justin but I ignored that fact and focused on his eyes.

The last time I'd actually admired how beautiful they were was in the first year when I rode with him on the train. My breath hitched. We used to be _friends_, almost best friends. How did we ever get to this? It was funny because I couldn't even remember why I hated him so much. Maybe he would know…

But just as I opened my mouth to speak, was at the exact moment he said, "Fine, just go."

And I could feel something break inside of me. I thought we were about to have a conversation. I didn't plan for this. He wasn't supposed to let me go. He was supposed to apologize and then we would talk while we washed the windows. I wasn't supposed to leave. That's not how it's supposed to work.

"No," I said firmly, not leaving his gaze.

"You wanted to go, and there's no more windows that you can reach so just go."

"No."

He stared at me, with so many mixed emotions swimming in his eyes. I just wanted to stretch up to his face and kiss all of that confusion away…

_Whoa!_ I thought, mentally slapping myself. _What the hell?_

"Lily…" he said, letting go of my arms. "Why do you have to be so difficult?"

"I'm not difficult," I said, glaring at the insult.

He laughed. "Yes, yes, you are! You're even difficult about being difficult. Just, for once, don't fight what your gut is telling you."

My mouth opened partially, and my chest was hurting. Where was that pain coming from? It was choking me, pushing me towards something or pulling. But before I knew it, I was moving in and wrapping my arms around him and…hugging him.

Tears were silently dropping from my eyes, for what reason I didn't know. But I was comfortable, at least when he gradually let his arms wrap around me too, I felt comfortable. It was almost as comfortable as I felt whenever I kissed Justin. His arms were warm and secure, and I felt safe, like anything could happen, but he would be there to protect me with those arms. But I wasn't suppose to feel this way, not unless it was Justin.

"I'm sorry…" I whispered, and pulled away. "I can't do this. I'll just move onto the next windows…"

He sighed and walked back to his bucket and sponge without a word. I watched him for a second longer than I should have, but eventually I moved onto the other windows in the next corridor.

I felt like I had just taken a shot to my chest. What was up with my chest? Why was it the main source of pain? Why did I hug James? Of all people, he had to be the guy I always lost my tough exterior around. Why couldn't it be someone like, I don't know…_my boyfriend?_ Something was definitely wrong with me. But then again, who wouldn't feel insecure when they were around Justin? He was just absolutely perfect – always the polite one, always nicely dressed, always _perfect._ Any girl in her right mind would absent-mindedly play with their flat hair while they talked to him, or cross their arms across their chest, or break-out in a bad-habit marathon.

But they did that around James too. Why didn't I? Was I just weird that way? He just always found a way to break me, to break the walls…

James P.O.V.

I couldn't stop thinking about last night during detention. Lily Evans hugged me on her own free will. Something changed between us last night. Our relationship – whatever that is – is definitely not the same as it was a day ago. We may have fought, but never, _ever_ have we ended it with a hug. She left, yes, but because (according to my calculations from last night when I lied in bed thinking about what happened) she was scared and confused. And who wouldn't be? Who has ever imagined us hugging? No one, that's who.

Lily Evans hugged me.

But that was the problem. I was supposed to be over her. If I told any of my friends about what happened, it would be impossible to get over her. Because whenever I'm with Sabrina, they'll exchange what are supposed to be secretive glances, and everyone will notice, especially if Lily _magically_ comes up in the conversation. Then I'll be back to where I started: asking girls out every few months just to prove I wasn't hopeless, but would end up single because they would dump me after lecturing me about how they don't deserve to be only second best. It was the same every time. And eventually, a guy gets bored and annoyed. So I had to at least try with Sabrina, even if she was just another dumb girl at this school that would do and give me anything I wished.

Girls are pathetic at times.

And that was what I _liked_ about Lily. She was right – I was in for the chase – but that was only one percent of the reason. She wasn't easy, she wasn't stupid, she knew how to say no (in some cases, a bit too well), she didn't think lowly of herself, she was always proud of her work, she was always strong no matter what, she was beautiful (still is, but that's a minor fact…), she was fun to be around (well, that's what I'd heard), she was funny… She was absolutely perfect. Even her flaws seemed perfect.

She was perfect, but that perfection would never be mine. Sirius had always been right from the beginning – I was just tricking myself into believing I would eventually win her over. I just had to get over her, and that was that.

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose, and tried to make myself focus on Professor McGonagal's lecture. That was pointless because just then she dismissed us. I would just have to get the homework from Remus.

Gathering up all of my books, I trudged out of the classroom. I could tell it was going to be one of _those_ days – boring, uninteresting, _boring_. _Maybe I'll get the guys to do a prank later…_ I thought to myself, just letting my feet take me to whichever class was next.

Yep, I was definitely going to be out of it today.

I shook my head, and paid attention to where I walking, barely getting out of seventh years' way.

"Potter!" I heard somebody's voice behind me but didn't turn. For one, I was not very interested in whatever they wanted to say, and second, I felt like I was going through a man's version of premenstrual syndrome. Anything and everything was annoying me – I didn't want to risk actually hurting somebody right now (although a part of me really liked the idea, no matter who it was.)

"Potter!" They called again. And then again. And again… Did they not get the message that I obviously didn't want to talk to them? Some people…

"Ow!" I turned around when someone smacked my arm, and was very surprised to see who I saw.

Lily Evans stood there, a bit out of breath, glaring at me. Her auburn hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail and there were dark circles under her eyes. Filch really shouldn't make students stay up so late for detention. It makes no sense – they want us to get good grades but what good does detention do if we can't even pay attention to what the professors are saying?

"Er, yes?" I said uncomfortably. Since when did Evans talk to me in public?

Her cheeks reddened a bit, but she didn't hesitate. "I need to talk to you."

"Okay… About?"

"Um, let's go into a less crowded hall…"

I followed her closely, only deep curiosity driving me.

"Okay, I, um, I would like it if we could…" She paused, searching for words. I nodded, urging her to continue. "Last night," she started again. "I was thinking… Since we are in sixth year now…"

"Yes..?"

She sighed, and looked me in the eyes, the green emeralds burning with sincerity. "I'm so tired of fighting with you, Potter, and I would really like to have a pleasant year. Do you think we could…call it a truce?"

My eyes widened in surprise. Did she really just say that, or is my drowsiness making me hallucinate? "Er, what?"

"I _said_, Do you think we could call it a truce? No more arguments, teasing, insults… Nothing. Just civil conversations with each other?" she repeated. "I don't want my memories of my last years at Hogwarts to be full of our silly arguments."

"So, you mean… can we be… acquaintances?" I said, making sure I had this straight.

"Yes, or…friends, if you'd like…" she said softly.

Maybe this wasn't going to be such a horrible day… "Um, sure, Evans. I think I could do that."

She smiled. "Good, and it's Lily from now on if we're going to be friends."

"Lily…"

"Yes, Potter, _my name._"

I chuckled under my breath then looked her in the eyes. "Yes, Lily, I understand that, but you have to follow the rules too."

"Fine, _James_," she laughed. "Thanks. Okay, I'll see you in class!"

I had an idiotic smile on my face, I could feel it, as I watched her walk away back to the crowded corridors. And I know it followed me though out the rest of the day.


End file.
